(✨Onomatopoeia!) RING! The school bell rang, signalling an end to the boring dull lesson and the wonderful start of recess. “Yippee! It’s recess!” Cheered John, stretching his limbs, elated. (✨S+SP+AT!) He stuffed his homework into his schoolbag that was bursting at its seams, chock full of wads of assignments. John and his best friend, Steve, ambled their way to the crowded cafeteria like a pack of starved wolves.
The canteen was filled with boisterous chitter-chatter as usual. (✨5 Senses: hearing & sight!) The place was teeming with people, like a tin of packed sardines. Steve and John jostled through the crowd and tried to join one of the snaking queues. The smell of food travelled into John’s nose. (✨5 Senses: smell!) The delectable aroma of freshly delights whetted John’s appetite. John could see the scrumptious sponge cakes piled up high. Appetising pastries waiting patiently to be eaten. Mouth-watering, juicy steak burgers displayed on the stand and ambrosial jam scones placed neatly on a tray. The plate of sushi rolls seemed like an illusion. The canteen was certainly a sea of gastronomic delights. (✨Great Details)
Chairs were pushed abruptly across the floor, as famished students wolfed down their lunch. (✨Ways to say : ate!) It was a scene of bustling activity! John’s stomach growled loudly, demanding to be fed. The thought of sinking his teeth into his favourite dish made him salivate. He couldn’t wait for his turn to order something off the menu. (✨Varied Sentence Structure!) When it was his turn, he ordered a savoury bowl of seaweed beef ramen sprinkled with crunchy spring onions and a boiled egg. Without a moment’s delay, John gently shoved through the unending crowd, trying to locate an empty bench for him and his companion, Steve. At that juncture, a ravenous boy named Billy who was aggressively cutting queue, paid no heed to John who was strolling through the crowd from the opposite direction (🌟 Interesting twist). Out of the blue, Billy crashed into John . Falling down with a loud thud, (✨Onomatopoeia!) John’s steaming hot noodles went flying in the air. The blistering soup spilled all over John’s school uniform, leaving a stain. “AHH!” John let out a raspy cry of pain as he moaned in pain and with tear reddened eyes. (🌟SNT – look / say / do) The steaming soup had scalded John badly. Jolting to attention, the crowd turned in unison and scooted over to see what had happened. (🌟 Crowd reaction) Their mouths were hanging wide open, transfixed by the scene. John could hear whispers coming from the crowds. Luckily, his best friend, Steve, came to the rescue. The quick witted boy immediately went to the principal’s office and reported the incident. Soon after, the wailing sirens of the ambulance could be heard. (🌟5 senses – sight / hearing) Immediately, John was sent to the hospital and he was accompanied by his loyal friend, Steve. As for Billy, the principal gave him a shelling of a lifetime after the ordeal for nearly two hours. Billy ended up with three weeks of detention as punishment. (🌟Consequences!)
John hoped that Billy had learned his lesson to not be so inconsiderate in the future! (🌟Maturity) This inconsiderate act would not have happened if Billy had spared thoughts for others. (🌟 Link to Topic!)